Post by Bearspoor on Nov 4, 2008 10:14:10 GMT -6
This morning I was watching some porn, and became mesmerized by the story line in the movie. *cough movie heh cough* What the hell is up with that, I may be a piss poor writer but I know I can come up with something better than what I was watching.
First off however is who needs a storyline in porn, we're(good god i hope this is true) not watching porn for a story, we just wanna see some titties and some human reproduction at its finest. Personally, I've never seen a whole one anyway, so why have the story?
Second is who writes this stuff? Have they ever seen a movie? Maybe more important is: Have they ever had sex? Here's a line that was better than anything in what I saw this morning "I can't quite reach my keys, but if you put your 11 inches of man meat in my sweet, virgin(cause all porn stars are virgins) pooper I should be able to bend just far enough to pick them up. Then you can go back to fixing my computer by turning your floppy disk into a hard drive."
If any of you write porno, feel free to use this, cause well it might not be gold, but it is at least in the silver range.
Third on the docket is why do they have to do a feature on the guy? I've never understood this, I really don't want to see a guy pull out his epic hammer of sexual fury, it doesn't turn me on, though seeing some ladies faces when that lance hits her sternum for the first time is priceless!
Fourth(and hopefully last) is why is a pearl necklace the ending of choice for porn? I'd rather see the guy shoot for distance, or at a target. That would be more interesting for me at least. I don't know how many women want to increase there chances of taking a protein explosion in the eye by 100% or more.
First off however is who needs a storyline in porn, we're(good god i hope this is true) not watching porn for a story, we just wanna see some titties and some human reproduction at its finest. Personally, I've never seen a whole one anyway, so why have the story?
Second is who writes this stuff? Have they ever seen a movie? Maybe more important is: Have they ever had sex? Here's a line that was better than anything in what I saw this morning "I can't quite reach my keys, but if you put your 11 inches of man meat in my sweet, virgin(cause all porn stars are virgins) pooper I should be able to bend just far enough to pick them up. Then you can go back to fixing my computer by turning your floppy disk into a hard drive."
If any of you write porno, feel free to use this, cause well it might not be gold, but it is at least in the silver range.
Third on the docket is why do they have to do a feature on the guy? I've never understood this, I really don't want to see a guy pull out his epic hammer of sexual fury, it doesn't turn me on, though seeing some ladies faces when that lance hits her sternum for the first time is priceless!
Fourth(and hopefully last) is why is a pearl necklace the ending of choice for porn? I'd rather see the guy shoot for distance, or at a target. That would be more interesting for me at least. I don't know how many women want to increase there chances of taking a protein explosion in the eye by 100% or more.
